"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" came to mind as I tried to sit still with another bad drug reaction. No matter how hard I try to live this or any good, I cannot do it on my own strength. It is in this earthly vessel, the weakest of the weaklings and a coward really, he makes himself known to me. How shocking really. He gives me strength I could not have on my own. It’s about abundance-to still be here. I don’t know what each day will bring, but I know the Lover of my Soul does. How I love him.Here is the poem I wrote in my journal in response to Philippians 4:13 a month ago when starting this drug. I wait and pray for another chance.
I want to be brave
and fly above
the dark clouds
of my oppressive
illness.
Not be captive
to it, but
transformed
like a carefree
butterfly
eager to take
off into the
unknown,
the next flight.
~JL 8/09
and fly above
the dark clouds
of my oppressive
illness.
Not be captive
to it, but
transformed
like a carefree
butterfly
eager to take
off into the
unknown,
the next flight.
~JL 8/09
4 comments:
Hi Jan Lyn
A beautiful post that reminds me of my own need to turn all over to God when I feel weak and discouraged, afraid...a place I have found myself this week...
I am always amazed and humbled by how much God blesses me through the writings of others ~ of which you are one. Your courage "under fire" is a testiment to God working through you and in you.
Blessings
HI Jan,
It is great to know that you can be weak, discouraged and yet still open and knowing that Christ is gives you strength. The Lord makes Himself known in many ways and I am sure very personal ways to you and your condition. I see Him all the time and let me say the Lord certainly has a sense of humor. God bless thee friend.
Thy friend in Christ,
John.
So good to hear from you, Renee. I hope the week to come is a better one. Those feelings were one part of this reaction, which was pretty frightening. So disappointing to have to give it up, but this time I know better that God is in control. You encourage and inspire me, Renee...blessings and peace to you.
John: Thanks so much for stopping by fFriend. I am thankful this time to have more support and fellowship around me during these disappointments. Am so glad and awed that God has allowed our paths to cross so often as you are a help and a comfort. Thank goodness for the humor!
Love and Peace to All,
Jan Lyn
Beyond Your Dreams
When all your dreams
lie crushed beneath your feet
like pearly broken shells
upon the beach,
washed out by endless
waves whose ebb and flow
carry them ever futher
from your reach,
know in your heart
these dreams were but a mist
obscuring from your sight
a brighter dawn
whose gifts, excelling
pale imaginings,
wait only on your welcome
to be born.
Then end the fight,
embrace that which you fear,
reach out to touch the truth
within your pain;
beyond the mask of darkness
is the Light,
so knowing, let it fill you
up again.
PRR 12.06.2000
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